Walk the Dog

A few weeks ago, my little dog wakes me up in the middle of the night whining.

The problem: she got off the bed and can't jump back up. After much coaxing and then a stern command through gritted teeth, she makes an attempt. Yeah! Success! but not without a struggle. I start to notice that she is having difficulty with this task on a regular basis.

After assessing the situation, I decide that Crystal, my dog, needs a walk. As we start walking, her extra "winter accumulation" bulges and shakes. So does mine! Yep, we both need a walk...daily!

Weighty matters of life can make even simple tasks like jumping up onto the bed seem difficult. A beautiful woman I spoke with recently struggles with deciding whether to take a shower or eat breakfast in the morning. As we spoke about possible reasons this problem exists, she discovers that she has spread herself so thin, limiting her personal time so drastically that everyday tasks weigh heavily on her. Her exploration of this matter leads her to make a plan that frees up the personal time she needs to be truly happy. In other words, she walks the dog. She is brilliant!

I encourage you today to locate the circumstances that your current condition makes hard to navigate. Once you address the problem, you can find what change needs to occur. Make a plan of daily activities that will create the change you need to make your life more satisfying. Like Crystal, you may need to restart a good habit that you fell away from. Or like me, you may need to discover new thinking patterns and create new, powerful habits.

Whatever is keeping you off the bed today, take action. Walk the dog!

Are you stuck? Amazing results happen when you pair up with a professional thinking partner. My life coaching is always confidential, compassionate, and powerful. I invite you to visit my website at www.beckyskalsky.com.

As for Crystal and me, I'm not sure we'll be "bikini ready" this summer, but we can jump up on the bed and have more energy to get off of it! We feel great and are enjoying a truly fulfilling life.

Who Do You Say You Are?

She had been obviously dealing with something for a few days when I found her - boy issues, I think. She was sitting on her bed just after midnight, 16 years old, beautiful, her "In Christ" scriptures by her side. (For those who are wondering, "In Christ" scriptures are a list of Bible verses that tell what God thinks of those who put their trust in the atoning work of Christ's death. He finds us amazingly beautiful and powerful). She is a follower.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Okay," was her uninterested response.

"I see you have your "In Christ" scriptures out."

"Yeah," was all I got in return. She did not want to talk about it. I kissed her forehead goodnight and went to bed.

The next morning I checked in with facebook to have my morning chat with a good friend. There was her post! "I am not who you say I am. I am who God says I am!" Posted after her statement was a list of the loving and empowering things that God says about His children. As a Life Coach, and more personally as a parent, I felt a great victory. She rejected a negative judgement of herself in favor of the beautiful truths she chose to believe in that moment.

How about you? What self-judgments have you embraced? Where did they come from, and how do they affect your life?

Did your favorite teacher sharply criticize your work; now you tell yourself you are stupid? Did your father tell you that you were born to be a doctor; now you are feeling trapped in med school? Perhaps a boyfriend or girlfriend said you were ugly; now you hate who you see in the mirror?

On the positive side, did your parents encourage you to try new things and learn from mistakes; now you attack life fearlessly? Did your best childhood friend tell you that you were fun to be around; now you make friends easily?

Ultimately, you choose whose voice you believe. Choose wisely! Who do you say you are?

NEVER let someone else, with their own hurts, issues and insecurities define who you are! Be uniquely you! Share you with everyone you are in relationship with.

Oh...with her post on facebook was a picture she took of a bumblebee on a flower. The bee didn't listen to the scientists who told her that her wings were too small to lift her body off the ground. She happily flies from flower to flower enjoying a truly fulfilling life and making the world more beautiful for the rest of us.

A Mark On My Soul

Have you slowed down recently to think about your life? I have. Wish I would more often.

The journey is so amazing. I am struck by the people who impact my life and how each encounter shapes a part of my existence. The ones who abused me, encouraged me, loved me, ignored me, married me or inspired me; not an encompassing list, but all leaving a mark on my soul.

Relationship to God, self and others is hugely important in life's experience. Learning to have healthy, life-giving relationships is essential to anyone, really, but is especially challenging if you come from abuse.

Receiving God's grace and forgiveness has been vital to me. Understanding that He loves me and being free to ask Him him the tough questions like "Why?" gives me courage to face myself.

My relationship to myself has been the most difficult to nurture. Probably because I can see all of my faults and know my deepest secrets, however, with time and encouragement from my friends, and life coach, I have developed a deep respect for myself. I am not perfect, but I have a lot to offer people I meet. So, I forge into relationships with others with peace.

I approach people with a great love, now. This is truly a victory for me. I used to be very fearful and untrusting (very common among abuse survivors). I developed boundaries that let the good in and keep the bad out. I learned to spot and avoid "toxic" relationships, and most of all, I give people space and freedom to be themselves. I find and focus on the good in each person I encounter.

I am thankful for the impressions people have left on me. My journey is unique and purposeful. I invite you to slow down today. Think about the people in your life and give thanks for them. Think of ways to find more peace in your relationships. Try life coaching for support to become empowered to create meaningful relationships.

Satisfying and peaceful relationships to God, self and others birth a truly fulfilling life. May your journey be filled with them!

To Resolve and Be Resolved..How's It Going?

It's just over a month into the new year, and the groans and pains of sticking to that New Year's Resolution are being heard and felt in homes across America. Every year is the same: start that new diet, smoke that last cigarette...by February, everything looks like chocolate cake and smells like a Camel. Just once, you would love to stick to what you know is good for you.

Typically, New Year's resolutions are about doing something that will bring you a desired result. So, you set your goal and muster up as much will power as you can to see it happen. Usually, by February your will power has been out matched by the strength of your previously learned behavior.

Let's try something with a greater success rate. I invite you to explore who you are and what approach to life changes works best for you.

We all know the super disciplined person who makes and amazingly keeps their resolutions. People like this do exist. If you are one of them, you are result-oriented. You approach life with a list of expected outcomes, complete with time frames, and diligently work to achieve them. You may even reward yourself when you reach smaller objectives to your overall goal.

If you are action-oriented, you find long-range goals daunting and have less success at achieving a New Year's resolution. You may even feel paralyzed when thinking about the goal ahead. Your successful approach to life changes will be to find day to day activities that improve your quality of life, and eliminate the tension of deadlines.

Knowing what type of person you are will move your life in a satisfying direction with milestones of success and not repeated failure. Let's look at how this works. New Year's Resolution: Lose 20 pounds by swimsuit season. This is a reasonable goal if you are result-oriented. You will be motivated by that goal and get your plan and march on. An action-oriented person will feel overwhelmed.

So how should an action-oriented person approach the New Year? Resolution: I will walk a mile each day. The emphasis is on the daily action, not on the long term goal. Fitness, not a specific weight target is more attainable. The result-oriented person will feel uninterested.

So determine if you need to tweak your New Year's resolution. Perhaps, like me you are action-oriented and just need to make daily changes that enhance your life.

Knowing your approach to life changes and applying it to your resolution, will help you create a more satisfying and truly fulfilling life.